*Pinch Me*

Ok, so we are almost two weeks postpartum.  My mom and sister, Caitlin, were here before Morgan's arrival.  They left Saturday, December 22nd.  Too quick.  I was sad, BUT what was most difficult for me was Addison's reaction to no longer having extra family near her 24/7.  It breaks my heart every.single.time. she asks for 'MiMi/Granma' or 'Caitit.'

Then we had the hype of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  We tried to help Addison understand Santa and his arrival.  We enjoyed celebrating our first family Christmas morning together.  I felt as if that time went by in a flash.  Morgan's first Christmas has already come and gone..*tear.*

Shortly after those moments, my dad, Jenny, Emily, and Hannah arrived.  They leave tomorrow and I am plagued with the feeling that I'm not going to see my family in forever.  I feel extraordinarily blessed b/c my family and Mike's family have surrounded us the past three weeks.  I love that feeling.  It fills my bucket and makes me less stressed.  I just fly by the seat of my pants...each day seems to come and go so smoothly.

Boo to my family living far away.  Boo to Mike's family having lives of their own ;)  As if everyone should stop their daily lives to spend time with this postpartum crazy lady.  Ha ha ha.

It's my personality to not focus on those sad feelings though.  Instead, I will spend my time thinking about how lucky I am to have had the time with the ones we love the most.  I will continue to be grateful and embrace my time with my girls at home, off of work.  That makes me bummed too...two of my eight weeks are already gone.  AH!  Say it ain't so!

When I wake up around 8 am to a toddler yelling someone's name, a hubby out cold on one side of me, a squeaky peanut in the basinet on my other side, and a pooch prancing around antsy to get outside, I pinch myself.  This IS real.  This IS my life.  I am SO happy and SO full.  I absolutely LOVE it.

I fear Mike leaving.  I fear being home alone with two baby girls.  I don't want to spread myself too thin.  I don't want to "fail" at a mommy moment (although I know I am only human and it's to be expected).  I want my little family to figure out what is to come in the next 6 months.  I want to be a good mom and raise two good daughters. Whew, I feel better.

So, pinch me, good Lord, and let me know I'm alive ;)  Oh and Thank You for this wonderful life!

Morgan Ann

Meet Miss Morgan Ann

Our little crew

Happy MiMi

Daddy and Big Sister

Addison meeting Morgan

Mommy and Big Sister

SO big

Mommy and baby Morgan

Baby Morgan's professional pictures

Her first Christmas

The same bow that her big sister wore just a year ago

Little Princess

Update to come...

Thanksgiving

We have so much to be thankful about year after year.  Even with the downs and lows of life, we have it good.  I am forever thankful for that.

Addison, it was your second Thanksgiving.  Daddy participated in his first ever Turkey Bowl, he was super excited to be around this year.  We got to stick around the house preparing my onion dip, which is our family's favorite appetizer :)  It was relatively warm and sunny this year!  We headed off to Great Grandma Terry and Great Grandpa Bill's house with Auntie Kim, Uncle Ron, Kyle, and Ryane. You didn't get a nap before we left the house and didn't fall asleep in the car.  Double bummer.  There was a small miscommunication between your father and I about what time we were leaving the house.

We arrived and you we down for a nap shortly after.  Bad thing was that dinner was to be served roughly an hour after you went down.  Of course, we sat in the formal dining room, which is located just outside of where you nap.  You quickly woke up and screamed for a good 15-20 minutes.  The whole family was waiting on you, little miss, to say the prayer.  All of us with watering mouths!  You calmed down, but did not eat a thing.  You ate more when you were 8 months old :)  You missed out Princess.

It was a good evening filled with family.  We FaceTimed our family in Texas and were thankful for technology and the ability to keep in touch with those we love.  Mommy planned out her Black Friday outings b/c this year the stores I wanted to hit were open at 8 and 9 pm Thursday night.  Daddy played Monopoly.  Addie, you will soon learn Mommy despises that game.  It takes entirely too long and everyone is competitive.  Game over for this Momma, especially pregnant and Miss Ads not being entertained by anything (insert another crying fit due to the lack of nap and the fact that it was past bedtime).

I never took a family picture *tears*  I am beyond very upset with myself.  But that's OK.  I'm very forgetful this pregnancy and that's where I point my blame.  Little 2.0, you had a great meal in my belly.  Surprisingly, we did not gorge ourselves and eat too much.  We ate just enough.  At this point, eating a ton of food only makes my mood absolutely terrible and my belly (mostly the skin that covers it) feel like it's stretch inhumanly far.

Thank you, Lord, for family and friends.  Thank you for my husband and for him being home to share this holiday for once; for me being a mother to an amazing little 20 month old girl and the bean growing in my belly; for food on my table and a roof over my head.  Thank you for giving me hands down THE.BEST. family- those I grew up with, my own little family, and those I got through marrying my husband.  My life is full- SO.MUCH. to be thankful for :)

X OR Y

Chromosome that is.  What do I think is growing in my belly?  A little boy?  A little girl?  It's the question I get asked the most.  Well, along with "How do you do it?" Referring to not finding out the gender.

My honest to goodness answer is- I do not know.  People always say, "I just had a feeling," "I knew it was a boy (or girl) from day 1," and "The second pregnancy felt different, so I knew it was a boy (or girl)."  I am not that way at all.  Quite frankly, I feel like those people are smokin' somethin' :)

Bottom line is folks, every pregnancy is different.  My mother has four daughters and we were all different pregnancies.  And I am 100% positive we are all girls(XX)!  So here's my story of how this pregnancy has gone for me.

We knew we wanted our children close in age.  Roughly two years apart at least.  We have friends and have heard of friend's friends that have had difficulty getting pregnant the second time around.  To be honest, it scared the living daylights out of us.  So, we thought we would get a jump start on the 'trying for #2' bandwagon.  Turns out we had no trouble at all.  I truly believe this is God's plan for us.  I've wanted nothing more than to be a mom my whole entire life.  Our two children will be 21 months apart.

In the beginning, I felt so sick.  I didn't want to eat anything and anything that I did force down my throat gave me a terrible stomach ache.  I never puked.  Thank the good Lord.  I was miserable.  This started my the downfall of working out.  The first trimester was nothing like it was Addison.  So, my first instinct was boy.

Second trimester was great.  Felt the same way I did with Addison.  I was exhausted though, therefore the no work trend continued.  When Mike was home, I was a bum and relied on him to do a lot of the evening routine around our house.  However, with his fabulous career, he is gone for four days straight.  This exhausted me to no end.  I dreaded the day he left almost more than ever before.  Feeling the same = girl.  Then my belly started to show...more and more.  My belly button popped early.  I feel like I am carrying the exact same way = another little girl.

The third trimester hasn't been terrible.  The morning sickness never came back- thank the good Lord again.  I have the normal woes of pregnancy.  I am completely uncomfortable.  It hurts to walk, sit, and lay down.  I feel like I cannot breathe and my whole abdomen feels as if I'm stretch armstrong.  Like, there are two professional tug-of-war competitors clawing their way to another victory...in my skin.  It hurts.  No stretch marks to date.  It doesn't mean my skin is not stretched.  Still carrying the same, although that's just how I feel, some people tell me this too.  Another point on the girl side.  I am measuring right on this pregnancy, which is different than with Addison.  This baby has its feet stuck in my right rib cage...it's lovely.  I do not remember this with Addison.  Baby B 2.0 also seems to wake me up in the middle of the night with movement, which I have heard is bad news.  A baby awake in utero in the middle of the night means a newborn awake in the middle of the night.

About a month ago, I was telling Mike that it's another girl.  I did all the old wife's tales and, if I'm not mistaken, they all said girl.  I did them with Addison and they all said girl, which turned out to be the case!  I've had moms tell me they felt the exact same with their second as they did with their first.  I have also had moms tell me they felt completely different with their second and it was the same gender as their first.  You just never know.  It's 50-50.  We know there is one baby in my belly.  And as far as we know, we are blessed with a healthy baby growing just as it should be.

Our name journey has been rough...we truly agree on so little in general.  With that said, our boy name was set awhile back.  It took us awhile to get there, but we have agreed.  A girl's name just became settled last week.  I love our boy's name and feel different about the girl's name.  I like it, but I don't love it like I do the boy's name. With Addison that's how we felt about the girl's name...we loved it.  Maybe that's a sign?  It's a boy?

And here I sit.  Some days I think it's a boy.  Maybe it's b/c of a dream I had the night before.  Other days I think, no way it's a girl.  Either way I know that this baby will have the best big sister and I hope and pray they have a sibling bond like no other.  I will jump for joy when we have a real life, healthy baby.  I will jump for joy b/c I am done with pregnancy #2, I get to become a mom of two, and I get to watch my children grow up together.  It's a wonderful thing...and I cannot wait till it's done ;)

Back Up The Train

Crazy, how I finally get a minute to sit down and a month has come and gone right before my very eyes!  Man, October must have been busy.  My Mac is still functioning minimally and my charger that I used bit the dust.  So, no computer on my part doesn't help the blogging world.

Anyways...I will pause on details of November to get everyone (my memory...cough, cough) caught up on October.

Miss Addison Irene turned 19 months old.  She now seems taller than ever before and talking all.the.time.  I love her talking though.  It may get old one day.  I'm sure when she learns the word why I will go insane, but for right now the talking is awesome.  She can communicate 24/7.  There isn't anything she says that we don't get...it may take a minute or two, but we figure it out.  Addison loves to play.  I guess she has started a new thing where she closes her door.  Needing privacy to read books this early in life?  Lord, help us for when she turns 16!

We broke down in October and started giving her half chocolate milk half whole milk.  The kid finally drinks ONE whole cup of milk a day.  We are hoping we can increase that in November to TWO cups!  Doc says she must gain weight, so we are doing our best to help her do just that.  We feed her nonstop, but she doesn't always want to eat.  Do you blame her?  Addie, your favorite foods right now are oatmeal (we buy the maple/brown sugar low sugar), which you call 'moat meal' respectively.  You like Velveta shells and cheese, broccoli (still), peas (still), toast and cereal (especially on Saturday mornings with Mommy).  You really could live without fruit, but you eat yogurt.  You are very big on feeding yourself.  You don't mind if we help you, but you are great at using a spoon and fork and do a lot yourself.  It's funny b/c, when you get frustrated, you use your hands.  I like that you are determined, but aren't afraid to revert to what you know :)

Still in a size 3 diaper...we are hoping this also increases with your weight gain in November!  Seems silly, but it's the small things in life sometimes, my dear.  You wear 18-24 months clothes.  We said good-bye to your 12 month jammies awhile ago.

This past month Addie has tried to give us a hard time when going down for a nap or bed.  We try to get into a familiar routine so that she knows what to expect.  It seems to be working thus far.  Mommy cannot stand it when you cry...and Ads, you've been giving Daddy a run for his money on days you are home with him.  You little stinker!

In October, Addison also learned all her Aunties' names.  She says them all when they aren't an ear shot away.  Rarely on FaceTime and the phone, of course!  She repeats anything and everything we ask her to...it's been a lot of fun.  Little girl, you still love to read.  We are all looking forward to some new books for Christmas.  Our next educational project is colors and the ABC's.  We haven't mastered those yet, but she does know the letter 'A' is for Addison :)  And it melts my heart!

Addie, you are such a sweet little girl.  Don't get me wrong, you have your stinker side that you like to flare often.  However, there are several moments when you will run up to me or Daddy screaming our name and only wanting to give a hug or snuggle up with us.  You are great at giving kisses still.

We are one more month closer to adding another addition to our family and I pray every single day that you, baby girl, do not feel less important or fall to the wayside.  YOU are the reason we wanted to have another baby.  Not only because you are a blessing in our lives, but because we know you will love growing up with another child around :)  We love you to the moon and back Princess!

18 Months of Joy

That might be an understatement.  Addison, you are an incredible little girl.  Yes, I said little girl and not baby.  *tear*  You are no longer a baby.  You are a toddler.  Walking and talking.  Communicating.  You even do problem solving at your own little level.

{Addison and Momma}

On Tuesday, you had your 18 month check up.  I feel terribly bad that I have not been able to attend all doctor's appointments.  It's just difficult with Mommy working full time.  I would give anything to drop everything and go be at your side.  Daddy does wonderful, but we are a team and a small part of me breaks when I cannot attend.  Anyways...here's what's up.

You are 31.75 inches tall you weigh a whopping 20 pounds 14 ounces.  Addie Lou, you haven't gained a pound in 6 months!  Yikes!  The doctor is worried about you.  I still think you are just tiny b/c you are a spitting image of your father and those are his genes.  He has always been a runt as we say.  Nonetheless, Dr. Neilsen wants to see you back in 3 months instead of 6 months.  From now until then, we plan on feeding you nonstop.  And I am going to try to make you fall in love with milk.  You would much rather drink water.  Odd.  But that's you, my Lou.

To no surprise, you have another minor ear infection.  Only in one ear, thankfully.  And hopefully this is the end of these darn ear infections.  Although they don't seem to bother you too much unless they get terribly bad in the end.

{happiest little girl}

Addison, you still love to read.  We read all the time and we love it!  You also still love your Einstein and even have your own little way of saying "Einstein."  You are excellent at puzzles.  And just tonight you knocked my socks off.  You saw your binky on the counter.  I didn't realize that's what you were saying as you walked across the kitchen.  So, you reached up to the counter and pulled down the papers that your binky was on top of.  Only a few papers fell onto the floor, but most importantly, your binky made it safely into your hand.  I was sitting on the couch.  When you walked around the corner you said "B," which I believe means binky.  It was hilarious and great all in one.

It's great b/c you understand SO much.  You help us throw away your diapers and clean everything up.  You know what you want and for the most part, you can tell us.  You still use sign language and pick up quickly on your new words.  This week at school was lion, drum, children, and ball.  You knew all of them a couple of days.  I know you are smart.  I also know you will be an excellent big sister.  Never ever forget that you are mommy and daddy's first born.  We love you more than the world little girl.

I thank God every single day for giving me you.  I just wish He could slow time down because at this rate I feel like you will be off to kindergarten in no time and before I blink again you will be graduating high school, going off to college.  I don't think I will ever let you leave the house ;)  Thank you for lighting up my life every single day in hundreds of ways.

Comparison

Just for the record, I am bigger with 2.0 than I was with Addison.

{on the left 26 weeks with Addison and on the right 25 weeks 4 days with 2.0}

I think I need to take another picture from the same angle to see if I am carrying the same.  I can't really tell...am I stupid?  Part of me starts at the top and says 2.0 is swollen looking there.  Get to my belly button and I guess I am lost :)  Ha ha.  Anyways...you tell me...carrying the same or different?  I will aim for that same angle pic soon.  I literally just woke up in 2.0's picture, so no I do not have stretch marks...those are lines from my sheets!!

Our 2.0

Baby B 2.0, fear not, we love you just as much as your big sister Addison.  I am sorry your blog posts have been minimal.  I blame her for taking up all of my free time.  I guess it's fair to blame you too though.  If I do have free time, like when Addison goes to bed or during nap time on the weekends, I am exhausted and feel like I should be sleeping too.  I am growing you in my belly for heaven's sake, I need my rest!

{22 weeks}

{25 weels}

So here's a little update for you.  As of tomorrow, we are at 26 weeks!  I have gained roughly 15 pounds.  I feel HUGE.  This time I feel less cute prego and more out of shape.  I have not worked out since I got a positive pregnancy test (for the most part).  I was so sick in the beginning and restarting CrossFit after weeks off when pregnant isn't incredibly smart.  However, not working out is not smart either.  I am just hoping I can recover and get into a routine post #2 in an amount of time I am happy with :)

2.0 is about two pounds and is opening his or her eyes this week.  I am into maternity pants...shirts are hit or miss.  Most of the styles these days welcome a baby bump- thankfully.  For some terrible reason, the market ups the prices of maternity clothes b/c women have to purchase them.  It's great spending money when you are gaining weight and only going to be able to use these clothes for a fairly small window in life.  I know the weight gain is good and some stores have stylish, cute maternity clothes.  They are expensive.  And I have other things to spend my hard earned dough on ;)

I crave sweet and salty things...again.  Maybe 2.0 is a girl.  I really have no clue or feeling.  I always want Mexican food.  Breakfast doesn't sound good unless it's terrible for me and takes awhile to cook.  This makes Monday through Friday morning tough for me.  Thankfully, I do not feel sick like I did the first several weeks.

I've had more pain this time around.  I am sure they are growing pains...but always on my left side.  I will be talking to the doctor about this at our next appt.  I was also thinking the baby's head might be resting nicely on my nerves or bone or something else down there.  It's pretty painful.  I also forget that while I was working the first time around, the circumstances were different.  I could sit down, drink water, and use the restroom when I wanted.  It wasn't a bad deal...let me tell ya!

Ok, 2.0 it's almost time for Addison to go to bed and Daddy is tired of taking care of her craziness solo :)  Time for Mommy to head out.  I sure can't wait to meet you and find out what you are.  I really think you will be best friends with your big sister one day, no matter if you are a boy or a girl <3 p="p">

5 Generations

{Me, Addison, my mom, my mom's mom, and my mom's mom's mom}

{they're a little dark, but these are PRICELESS!!!}

I am SO SO SO SO SO glad that Mike and I made the drive down to Rolla for Wes and Michael's high school graduation.  We missed the ceremony but were there for both of the parties and some much needed family time.  We drove in good time and enjoyed our bonding experience.  Thanks to the iPad for providing some entertainment for Addison.  Yes, these pictures are 4 months late :)  That's about how far along things are running around here!  Anyways...sometimes a four generations picture is hard to come by these days.  My family has great genes and my great grandma is still kicking.  She's in great condition and we were excited to see her, as it has been awhile.  Addison cooperated for the most part.  A five generations picture was a must.  So here they are in all their glory!

Visiting Nana

I truly hate, with all my heart, that visiting Nana has to be a picture of a headstone.  But that headstone means the world to me.  I know she is watching over her Addison Irene, but God how I'd love to see her interact with her great-granddaughter.  I know that she would be THE BEST Great Nana there ever was.

{Hazel I and Addison I}

{she even knows <3 p="p">

Our Water Baby

Addison, I have always known kids who love the water and have no fear.  I never thought I'd have one of those babies.  I am not too comfortable in the water, so I guess it just never crossed my mind.  Your daddy and I have had the most fun taking you to the pool and the lake.  You are a blast in the water.  Our little fish, Addison.  I hope we didn't hinder your love of the water by not putting you in swimming lessons this year, but sweet girl, they will be at the top of my list come May next year :)  Here is your love in action:

{baby pool @ Thornwood}

{stylin'}

{loving it}

{big cheese}

{at Uncle Jim's pool, splashing away}

{freezing, but happy}

{laughing nonstop}

{my world in a nutshell}

Labor Day 2012

A family vacation to Canyon Lake, TX.  Where, you may ask?  Somewhere between Austin and San Antonio...near Wimberly, in hill country Texas.  At a vacation rental called the treehouse, BEAUTIFUL view of the lake from up in the trees.  It was just the getaway I/we needed.

Michael had his vacation planned for my birthday week this year, but I will be 9 months pregnant.  Need I elaborate?  We will most likely do a chill celebration this year (my dad and his girlfriend who is my bday buddy, usually do something with us)- tear.  So, Michael put in a request to have time off starting this weekend.  Not only was this a family weekend with my father, his girlfriend, my three sisters and their significant others, but my husband was able to attend as well.  It makes everything that much better.

I guess I should start off with the honest truth, Addison almost lost her life on the flight down to Houston.  We took the last flight out...9:35 pm.  Perfect for Addison to sleep on, just like the handful of times before.  Well, she had a sore throat and a slight fever.  We boarded the flight and there happened to be a maintenance problem (a light bulb out in the luggage compartment, so the workers went on strike).  As we sat on the airplane for at least 30 more minutes, the flight attendant came on the intercom letting us know that by law he has to tell us we are allowed to get up and move around, deplane the airplane and return once the issue was fixed.  Adults were restless, imagine our 17 month old.  Usually, if she's tired, she's out right after takeoff.  I think it's the noise of the airplane...lulls her right to sleep.  At this point, she is now over tired, beyond being consoled, and wanted nothing to do with anything.  She screamed- demon like screams, for a good 10-20 minutes before we finally took off.  I still blame the stupid maintenance problem.  She fell asleep on the floor of the aircraft...sick, I know.  But I truly didn't care at that point.  However, you cannot land with an infant on the floor...even if they were screaming demon-like screams.  I get it...safety, the law...blah, blah, blah.  BUT this is my child and she isn't in any shape to be moved at this point.  I do as I am told.  My motherly instinct is rearing it's ugly head.  Addison woke up...and resumed her same screaming pattern as before.  So another 10-15 minutes goes by and we deplane.  While walking out, some male yells out, "It's just her ears!"  Had it not been 1 am and had I truly cared to give this man my two cents, he would have gotten at ear full.  "Sir, we took our daughter to the doctor this morning due to a fever, thinking you were in fact right and she had an ear infection, however, we learned she had sore throat filled with puss.  You may be surprised, but she has been on roughly 15 flights since she was 3 months old and has never shown any sign of ear issues- EVER.  So, as her mother, I would like to inform you that my 17 month old is simply beyond exhausted and would like her crib to sleep.  It is not her ears.  Let me be the parent and you keep your opinion to yourself.  Thanks."

To top that off, we had a 45 minute drive to my dad's house.  Addison screamed from the minute we put her in the car seat to the minute we pulled into my dad's driveway.  THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME.    We thought she'd fade and she would, but two seconds later the scream would start back up.  She didn't give up.  It was great to see some dedication, but I was spent.  Little Lou, mommy and daddy love you very much.  We are sorry we put you through hell, but you gave it your all to give us hell right back!  Man.

Thankfully, that was the end of the "bad behavior" for our trip.  We drove 4 hours to the lake house on Friday afternoon.  Once we arrived, we just hung out.  Dad and Jenny went to the grocery store and we cooked pizzas for dinner.  Emily and Daniel were the first to arrive and Daniel's niece, Ava, who Addison will walk down the aisle with as a flower girl, got to come for the night too.  It was SO cute to see these two interact.  Ava was so sweet, Addison was her sassy, non-sharing self ; )  She has learned to stand her own ground at school, not share, which will change over time, I'm confident.  Ava fed Addison some mac n'cheese.  Before we knew it, bedtime was upon us and night number one was in the books.  Caitlin came in next, and in between my dozes on the couch, Andrew and Hannah came  at last.

{Ava, Michael, Addison enjoying some 'Einstein'}

Biscuits and gravy topped the list for breakfast foods.  We headed to a local 'beach' for a couple of hours.  Addison fell asleep on the 5 minute drive there, so she took an hour nap in the car thanks to Papa.  Of course, Dad lost his glasses- it wouldn't be a trip without him doing this.  My wonderful husband found them at the bottom of the lake, sacrificing one of his contacts.  They are both blind, so it would have been one heck of a trip to have them both out of eyewear!  Luckily, we were only down one eye :)  My dad rented a pontoon...yes, the country song was on repeat in my head.  It was such a good day for the lake, it was perfect.  Lou loved the water.  I forgot to grab her lifejacket in my suitcase, but thankfully those were a plenty at the dock.  This trip really made me realize just how bad my memory is (pregnancy post to come).  That night we had steaks on the grill and hung out for some quality family time.

{Princess}

{family photo}

{Our Captain}

{Papa and Addison}

{Andrew and Caitlin}

{most of our crew}

{lovin the water}

{right before Addie fell asleep}

Sadly, Sunday was our last full day at the lake.  I had anxiety about our flight out- on a holiday and I HAD to get back for work.  Plus, given our experience with Addison on the way down, I was a little worried about peanuts behavior on another flight.  We played a hilarious game of Yatzee and lazed around all morning.  Most of the crew went zip lining.  My dad, Jenny, Addison, and I opted for the scenic, watch them zip line tour.  It was great, but down right HOT.  We got the world's best snow cone afterwards....SO worth the whole sweaty trip!  (I still crave them...prego thing.)  More grilling happened that night.  We made s'mores on over the grill's fire.  Everyone hung out again that night and had some good bell aching laughs...Addison and I checked in earlier on in the night.  I just couldn't hang anymore.  Exhaustion set in for me and I was down for the count!

{Addison and her buddy}

{they're ready}

{Addie, Papa, Jenny}

{fear of heights in action}

{hot baby girl}

All in all a fabulous trip.  I'd love to make this annual.  I love how our family is still new at this whole growing up and having traditions thing.  I love that we can all come together and have a great time at least once a year.  I am thankful I was able to attend.