*Pinch Me*

Ok, so we are almost two weeks postpartum.  My mom and sister, Caitlin, were here before Morgan's arrival.  They left Saturday, December 22nd.  Too quick.  I was sad, BUT what was most difficult for me was Addison's reaction to no longer having extra family near her 24/7.  It breaks my heart every.single.time. she asks for 'MiMi/Granma' or 'Caitit.'

Then we had the hype of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  We tried to help Addison understand Santa and his arrival.  We enjoyed celebrating our first family Christmas morning together.  I felt as if that time went by in a flash.  Morgan's first Christmas has already come and gone..*tear.*

Shortly after those moments, my dad, Jenny, Emily, and Hannah arrived.  They leave tomorrow and I am plagued with the feeling that I'm not going to see my family in forever.  I feel extraordinarily blessed b/c my family and Mike's family have surrounded us the past three weeks.  I love that feeling.  It fills my bucket and makes me less stressed.  I just fly by the seat of my pants...each day seems to come and go so smoothly.

Boo to my family living far away.  Boo to Mike's family having lives of their own ;)  As if everyone should stop their daily lives to spend time with this postpartum crazy lady.  Ha ha ha.

It's my personality to not focus on those sad feelings though.  Instead, I will spend my time thinking about how lucky I am to have had the time with the ones we love the most.  I will continue to be grateful and embrace my time with my girls at home, off of work.  That makes me bummed too...two of my eight weeks are already gone.  AH!  Say it ain't so!

When I wake up around 8 am to a toddler yelling someone's name, a hubby out cold on one side of me, a squeaky peanut in the basinet on my other side, and a pooch prancing around antsy to get outside, I pinch myself.  This IS real.  This IS my life.  I am SO happy and SO full.  I absolutely LOVE it.

I fear Mike leaving.  I fear being home alone with two baby girls.  I don't want to spread myself too thin.  I don't want to "fail" at a mommy moment (although I know I am only human and it's to be expected).  I want my little family to figure out what is to come in the next 6 months.  I want to be a good mom and raise two good daughters. Whew, I feel better.

So, pinch me, good Lord, and let me know I'm alive ;)  Oh and Thank You for this wonderful life!