Monday, March 7, 2011

Happy Monday

I am saying the title of this blog aloud b/c I truly want you to believe me.  If I tell myself today is a good day, it is, right?  Lately, I feel out of my element.  I am not really me.  I kind of just move through the motions of everyday life.

I saw hubby briefly last was definitely too short and more of a tease than anything.  I've missed him this time around.  Not that I don't normally miss him, but the days are dwindling down.  And I want him here with me.  {Pregnancy mind at work...I had a story to share and for the life of me, I cannot remember it. SO frustrating!}

I have a lack of emotion kind of.  Everyone knows that's one thing this chica is never lacking.  I have loads of emotion.  I am an emotional woman.  Period.  But lately, I just "feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind..."  I had to do it.  I guess that's kinda how I feel.  Just rolling with the punches.  I don't seem to be stressed that our closing date is supposed to be Friday and we still haven't heard anything.  Honestly, I don't even feel like I am buying a home.  Come on, this is a huge step in life and I should feel like it's happening.  But I don't.  I don't seem to notice that a life altering event could take place at any moment.  The birth of my first child is on the tip top of a mountain about to blow over.  I feel as if this makes me look unexcited and melancholy.  Again, not two adjectives I'd choose to describe myself right now.  It's weird.  I feel like I'm on the outside watching myself.
{Ha ha ha...story of my life.  I feel bad even calling anyone right now b/c "Nope, no baby yet!"}

As I laid like a beached whale in bed this morning, I decided I am going to enjoy these last few days of pregnancy.  Feeling my lil bean kick my insides.  Even getting his/her feet stuck up in my ribs.  I'm going to touch my belly nonstop.  And stare at myself in the mirror.  My body will not be this 'deformed' for much longer and won't take this shape again for at least a couple years.  Embracing.  Sleeping and relaxing as much as humanly possible, which isn't all that much for me b/c I don't sleep in anymore.  So here's to being positive and enjoying these last few...whatevers.


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