My Classroom

Isn't is beautiful?

{circle time rug, helper chart/easel, the bulletin board I made, weather, calendar, 'Rules of the Roost, and character of the month, Mia}

{Entryway, cubbies, listening/reading center, computers, and our circle time area}

{bathroom right to the right, blocks, dramatic play, outside door, cots, art easel, and sinks}

Now, I'm just waiting on the licensing bia to come back and give me permission to use my room!  My stupid background check didn't clear in time b/c I was out of state.  Ugh.  So, now I must wait patiently wait.  Double ugh.  However, on the up and up...I do have fourteen children enrolled in my class.  The biggest class in the school and that means I get an assistant!  Woo hoo!  Now we are talkin.  I need an extra set of eyes and ears in my room, no doubt.  I've already got some issues.  Oi!

Still getting fewer hours than we'd like, BUT I get more time at home with Addie and Daddy!  So, I can't complain much.  Just that I wish I got a paycheck the size of a full-time job, working part-time.  Hummm....think I can find something of the sort?

What we need to do is invent something and rake in the dough :)

Y.O.U.R.E 4

M.O.N.T.H.S

{your new HUGE purple flower bow}

{on your side w/a blankie is how you'd always prefer to sleep}

{cheese- I took better photos on the camera that won't upload to my computer}

{what is this funny business?}

{love you in your "jhonny jumper"}

{not so sure}

{post a little puke...clean up crew at her finest- gross!}

{getting wayyyy too big...look at her feet on the edge!}

{"when your whole world can fit inside your arms, do you really need to pay attention to the alarm? In my case, NO!}

{love her tongue...kisses for Daddy always}

{momma and baby}

{yup, I swear she's mine!}

Thank goodness that's not four years.  Man.  I swear I blink and another day has gone by.  While those days seem to creep by when Daddy isn't home (nothing against those that are, but being a single mom is so not what I am cut out for...I give you props).  Baby Girl, I love my time with you...treasure it, to the max.  But I sure miss when Daddy is around.  I think this also has to do with the fact that I have no friends and truly long for adult interaction.  Addie, we are going to meet friends...lots of them, I promise.

At four months you are growing by leaps and bounds.  Again, please slow down.

You are in a size two diaper.  You proved to the doctor that you really are perfect!  Weighing in at 13 pounds 6 ounces and 23 3/4 inches.  You are 3 pounds and 3 inches behind your friend Ophelia in Phoenix! However, you are in roughly the 50th percentile in both.  You still have little peach fuzz hair..and I love it fresh out of the bath.  We always try to make it stand up.  Your eyes are still a beautiful BLUE...yes, Mommy got her blue eyed girl, I believe.  I just hope your hair is, at some point in your life, dark like mine.  Otherwise, people will question me carrying you for 41 weeks :)

You still have a very happy, pleasant, content demeanor.  You fuss when you are stuck on your tummy- because you rolled over two days after your four month checkup (7.21.11).  And it was no fluke b/c you rolled over again on July 22nd.  Of course, both happened while Mommy was at work.  (Pssst...a little secret for you, Addison, Mommy isn't too sure how long this whole job thing is going to last)  Ha ha ha.  You also fuss when you are hungry, over stimulated, or need a diaper change.  You love, love, love being talked to, sang to, or played with.  I do believe this is called the only child syndrome!  You are most certainly the center of our world.

You got the thumbs up for cereal and aren't too sure about it.  It's much too thick (even if Mommy makes it a step ahead of soup) and it must taste worse than your puke b/c you gag nonstop.  Poor baby girl.  We might need to spice it up with some apple juice for ya.

Sadly, Mommy has moved to some half formula, half breast milk bottles.  *tear*  Yes, lots of those have fallen and still do.  I miss the days of being the sole provider for you.  Your little mouth moving towards me like a little pirana and the way your hands always found a resting spot on me.  Although that's not true b/c Daddy was a provider too, just in a different way.  You have received a few solo formula bottles.  I hate doing that, but you seem to be adjusting just fine.  Your poo is much more green...and you seem to be regular still- thank heavens!  You have moved on up to 5 oz servings at each feeding.  We do rice cereal at dinner time every day.  Your first bowl of cereal was on Daddy's birthday- 7.18.11.

You are too big for your cradle, but Mommy refuses to sleep alone.  So, we border the top with a blanket and you seem to be just fine.  I guess when Daddy returns on Tuesday, we will adventure into your own room. Ah!  This doesn't seem quite right.

You are getting chunkier by the day...I love it.  You are growing and, I think, you are looking more like me.  Your little wrists and thighs have rolls!  Yessss!

You are an absolute delight.  You don't seem to have separation anxiety.  You can sit across the table from Mommy with someone else holding you without a fuss.  Addie, I trust your judgement in who is comfortable for you.  Some ladies you seem to just be content with, others not so much...and men, well we are working on them since Daddy is the only one that ever really holds you :)  Auntie Kim, Ryane, and Rachel watched you two Fridays ago and they bragged about you the whole time.

You talk A LOT.  You love your voice and so do Daddy and I.  Coo, coo, coo, coo, coo...is all you do at certain times of the day.  Usually once in the afternoon and once in the morning.  It's wonderful, brings tears to my eyes, and makes me so happy.

We thank God for you every day and hope you know feel/know our love is present in your life.  You are our #1 (sorry Gracie Goo).  And I know you were so meant to be here with us.  We love you Addison Irene.

(*side note: the other day you made this face...you seemed to be fussing when you really didn't have a reason too.  So I started talking to you like I do and this face showed up out nowhere...like, "ha ha ha mommy, I've got you tied around my little finger" and it was so your Nana when she didn't have her dentures in <3 Thank God for those memories, Addie, I wish you got to meet her.  No rush now that she's in heaven, but all too often she's my reminder that life is just not fair.)

New With Addie

Man, oh man, how time is flying.  Addison turned 17 weeks yesterday.  She will be FOUR MONTHS Sunday.  Ah!  And sadly, she has shots Monday afternoon, which also happens to be Daddy's birthday :)

Here are some real recent pics of our lil Miss...nicer, loner, more in depth posts to come of the past few weeks and Papa's visit.

{first train, 'Metra,' ride into the city}

{first Taste of Chicago...such a good baby on a terribly hot day}

{first experience with "Sophie" the giraffe}

{loves it}

{asleep...kickin back, relaxin}

{the last pic of the 'Swaddle Me,' it is no more}

{watchin t.v. w/Dad...prob baseball. I'm obviously in the way}

{our side sleeper...she's not about to fall off, although this pic seems to show otherwise}

Addison's First Day @ School

Thankfully, this was not a hard step for me!  Her first day of school was today.  She went into the infant room...and I went into the Preschool room.  My room (Pre-K) is not open just yet.  We just opened the doors to children on Monday, so we are filling up daily and will be in full swing soon.

I dropped her off in her room at 8:30 am.  I got her settled and went on my merry way.  She was dressed like a baby doll.  She is my baby doll :)  I got to nurse her at 10:30 am, which was wonderful.  Little did I know I was supposed to clock out to do so...annoying.  Super annoying.  Being paid hourly just sucks...there's no if, an's, or butt's about it.  I am already excited for a salary job.  (that's sad to be able to admit that already!)  Anyways...so that was a hiccup.

She was smiley and happy and met a new friend, Calvin.  She melted the teacher's hearts- duh, what do you expect??  She took a 5 minute cat nap and a 45 min solid nap.  Then she got some gas.  Poor baby was screaming bloody murder.  The only other time I've heard that scream was after her shots.  Ugh.  It's heart wrenching.  I despise that sound.  Goof on the teachers was that they didn't burp her after I nursed.  I told them what to do and how to do it.  I also told them they'd be "in trouble" with Addison if they did not get a burp.  Sadly, I could not burp my princess b/c I had to be in my classroom for a parent tour.  Of course, the family was 45 minutes late...don't mind my rushing to feed you Addie.  I blame it on others!

We left a little stressed.  Nobody is to blame...it was just a tough scenario.  Although, I do believe that anyone who is used to infants would exhaust all other options before stuffing a baby with a bottle.  Mind you it was 30 minutes early- unlike her, it was half formula b/c we've started weening her off the breast (terribly sad)- she is still unsure of this process, but has adjusted outstandingly.  So, leaving 3 oz left in her 5 oz bottle is uncharacteristically Addie.  The skin around her eyes was purple from crying.

Thankfully, I was right around the corner, got off work early, and spoiled this little girl rotten the rest of the day.

(*you will have to forgive me for the lack of pics...my computer is full apparently)

Pool Time

Today was Addison's first day in the pool.  Swimsuit and all.  We bought her a floatie that's made for older babies, but we didn't care.  She's the first of a few and surly one of our other children will use it too :)  No sunscreen b/c she cannot wear any.

Mommy and Daddy needed to work on our tan...or burn in someone's case.  Not mine, just sayin.  So, Addie went to the pool.  Here are some pics.  It was probably a little cold to her.  But her little legs were just kicking away.  I love that she loves water.

{swimmin' w/daddy}

{such a tiny little thing}

{there she goes...geting too darn big}

{representing Auntie Caitlin's graduate school <3}

{side sleeper and a binky baby}

Missing My 'Previous Life'

By this I mean, I miss ARIZONA!  My girlfriends, their kids, their families, my crazy job as a nanny, Lauren, my old gym, daily routine, 'norm,' Mike's mom and dad being close, the weather...and lots of other small things.

This weekend the sadness hit again.  

Our best group of friends went to Long Beach, CA...where Mike and I have been with them twice.  We weren't there...I felt very sad.  The tears came.  It sucks...our friends were perfect.  They were my closest girlfriends...hell, they were pretty much my family.  My stability, fun, happiness...Mike was gone a lot and they were there.  They were there when we got engaged, they were there the day we said 'I do' and Nichole was my first phone call when we saw our positive pregnancy test.  And they were there for every single little step through the years.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and miss them.  I don't feel like our friendship will ever fade...I just miss the day-to-day life with them physically present!  I do miss out on a lot of things...seeing their precious babies grow...and other bonding activities, if you will.  But I hope they know how much they mean to me and if I could teleport, I'd be there weekly :)

{our first LB trip}

{just stumbled on this pic, love it}

{pretty sure this is the weekend before he proposed}

 {engagement night- Vegas}

I miss the weather.  Thank heavens the weather has finally been sunny more often than cloudy for the first time since I moved here in February.  I miss my sun-kissed skin, flip flop tan line, and rosy cheeks...I am SO pale...it's SICK.  The drive an hour and a half South on the 17 was BEAUTIFUL...I miss the scenery.  The dry desert look- dirt, rocks, mountains, cacti, and palm trees!  Aaaaaahhhhh...what I'd do to have a palm tree in my backyard <3

If Mike and I win the lottery or stumble across a huge chunk of cash...we will buy a vacation home in the Phoenix area.  No doubt.  I don't think our friends will leave, as they have family in the area and successful jobs.  So, we will be fine.  The market stinks now, so maybe we will get lucky!  Ha ha.

I miss my nanny family.  Lauren, Colleen, Caitlin, Troy and Hunter.  I can't really express in words how much I miss them, but it's a boat load.  They are getting so big...and changing SO much.  I need to see them.  I don't ever want them to forget me.  And Lauren was a friend.  The job was difficult and crazy at times, but I knew they'd be there for me for anything. And they were.  If I had a bad day, those four little smiles would flip it right around.  Don't get me wrong...there were days that I wanted to pull my hair out and scream.  Days that I was in a great mood that was quickly torn down by those four babies, but they were my stability for four years.  I miss having Lauren to talk to and befriend.  I cannot wait to see them this month.

I miss my gym.  And now that Lauren has built her own...it makes me sick.  I want to be there.  I want to workout with people that know me.  I want to get strong again and break my old pr's.  I just don't have that home feeling here.  And I may never...that was my first CrossFit experience and while I complained a fair share, I miss it.  Terribly.  Lord, please get me out of this funk.  I need to get back into my gym routine...it is SO good for me, my family, and life.  I will get comfortable here and make friends.  I just have to give them a chance.

I miss Mike's mom and dad being close.  I know they were always there for us too.  We'd go down for awesome home cooked meals.  Pat helped me with so many things for the wedding.  We'd go shopping at Joann and have lunch together.  I miss their friendship too.  It was always a good time and felt just like home.  I know they'd love more than anything to have us close again too.  They miss Gracie and I know they'd love watching Addison grow.  Another reason why I want a vacation house in the Phoenix area.  

And then outside of AZ, I really miss my family.  I wish they were closer.  If it wasn't so humid, I'd by a house in Texas too.  (No, family, I did not forget about you!!)  They too miss Addison (and Mike and I sometimes...lol).  Having my dad and Jenny here was such a treat...so fun and enjoyable.  I'd love to be closer to my family now that I've started a family of my own.  There's nobody like them...and through it all family is by your side.  While my relationship with them is different than those I share with my friends, it's still something I could not live without.  My sisters have grown to be my other halves over the years (we fought like cats and dogs growing up!!).  I'd be lost without them :)  I know if my mom and dad could teleport, they'd be here weekly as well.  

First Week @ Work

Here we go Addie.  On a new journey together.  I know you most likely cannot tell a difference.  I know you know who I am and when I am around, but I also know you are happy in the care of other people.  You know your Daddy and I in particular, which is a feeling I cannot put into words.  I do not fear you are distraught or stressed when I am not present.

Monday, I woke up nerves.  This is really happening, I thought, I am going back to work.  I am leaving my 14 week old at home while I 'flee' for eight hours.  Ugh.  Sickening.  I cried.  I tried hard not to.  Just know that the money I am working hard for is solely for you, my Princess.  I will take a picture of my first paycheck solely for you.

As I got ready, all I could think about was that smiling face.  Tears fell freely.  It is OK for me to cry.  It's a scary thing- leaving your baby.  Even if it is with daddy.  He is the only other constant in your life, but he isn't me.  I think this time apart is good for the both of us.  You need this darling girl, to help build a strong girl...a social, loving, caring girl.  I did good all the way to Primrose.  Mommy is going to be a four-year-old classroom teacher.  Mommy will have her first classroom her first year of your life.  Tons of firsts this year, Addie.

Once I got to school, we dug right in.  On break, Melissa and Ellen, asked me about you.  They asked how I was doing and I cried.  I didn't mean to.  I wanted to be strong.  I wiped away tears and smiled.  It only got worse b/c other folks walked in the room and asked more questions.  I missed you already.  All your antics.  Even if you're in your swing, bouncy seat, or cradle I still know exactly what you're doing and what you look like.

I rushed home to see you as soon as I could.  It was a long day but I had a lot to learn.  Primrose will be a great place as long as there are great teachers.

After the first day I did fine until Wednesday. I hated the fact that I had to go into work again.  I was over not spending time with you.  I wanted to stay with you all day- not just a few hours.  I think this transition is going to be tough.  But sometimes we gotta do what we've gotta do.  I didn't want to go to work.  It was terribly hard.  I did it though, my love.

Before I knew it the week was over.  Papa came late Thursday night.

I love you teeny, tiny baby girl.  You are so petite with those baby blue eyes.  I love everything about you.  I pray I am able to stay at home come time when you need me the most.  My guess is you won't remember too much of these early months together <3  Giving you and your daddy all my love!