Wednesday, February 13, 2013

SISTERS

{the first kiss caught on camera...*sigh*}
{first day home from the hospital}
{genuinely sweet}
{always caring for your 'Mogan,' as you say}
{big sister on Christmas Day}
{never leaving her side}
{kisses.anytime.anywhere.}
{friends for life}
There are times when I worry I ruined Addison's life.  She's going through so much right now.  She's turning 2, which is truly enough in itself.  Her mommy, who tends to be her best friend these days, is always busy.  Usually when Addison wants attention its feeding time for Morgan.  Addison breaks my heart.  She says "Mommy, no Mogan,"  "Mogan in seat, Addie Mommy," and "Daddy Mogan, Mommy Addie."  We are getting through it and I know it is all for the better.

I know in a few years I will look back on these times with fond memories and maybe even a laugh or two.  It is tough though.  Two under two is busy...like I've never been this busy in my life.  And I was a nanny for four under three.  However, I was not mommy.

I hope Addison never feels like, or remembers being on the back burner.  Because she's not.  I still put her first (unless I'm feeding Morgan).  And even then I am dealing with and talking through an issue with my Addison.  Thankfully, she is a talkative toddler and is very good at communicating.

So, I panic...question my family planning.  But then I will have a  moment like one of the pictures above and everything seems right in the world.  Addison is a fabulous big sister.  Constantly helping and loving.  When I catch her talking to Morgan, in her own little language, on her own time, I realize this is the plan for my family.  That ideal that I had in my head many years ago.  Even last year...when we got pregnant.  I want them to be friends.  I want them to rely in each other and I want to give them this relationship that provides them with years of irreplaceable, unconditional love.  I know this feeling b/c I have it with all THREE of my sisters.  I am triple blessed.

In those tough times, I take a deep breath, stand back and tell myself it is all going to be ok.  And it will be.  It helps to look back on these pics...warms my heart really.  I love these two little beings more than they will ever know.
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